Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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