At least make sure they are 18
Why
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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