I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize