He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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