Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
