Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
