got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
