okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize