we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
