i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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