East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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