I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize