Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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