I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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