She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
