The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
