i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
