Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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