there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
