so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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