So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
