did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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