she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize