Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
