I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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