After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
