hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
