i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
