Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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