Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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