i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
