OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
