...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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