That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He better not be in your backpack
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
