Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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