I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
