Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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