Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
