He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
