we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
