taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
