So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
