i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
