you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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