I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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