Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I love you. Go after that dick
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
