I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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