try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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