i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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