smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
