friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize