do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
