If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize