dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
