nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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