this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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