I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize