Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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