Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
