I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Actions speak louder than pants.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
