I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
