He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
