No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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