I wannas sexs uuuuu
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
tell me about the fingering
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