he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
