so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
