Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
