She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
