yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
