Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
