My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
