There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Drake has all the answers
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
